The Secret of Karmic Relationships
Seven steps to Clear Up Your Relationships.
Deep Life Counselling –
Finally understanding what is going on!

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I dedicate this guide to the ability of every person to “move mountains” for love if necessary and to reveal even the most difficult mysteries.
I express my thanks to all the people who have never given up faith in love and in themselves, even in the greatest crises of their lives. That is why I have always felt – I am not alone with this.
From the bottom of my heart I want to thank my lovely initiator who has inspired and challenged me in a spe- cial way, for the extraordinary time I spent with her. Without her, this guide might never have been written.
This guide is also an expression of my past responsi- bility. It has been created in the search for answers to incredible events and karmic relationships in my life.
With this book I want to provide you with a relationship guide which can accompany you in your future life. Maybe I will be able to reach something inside you on the following pages that calls for a freedom that you might have already given up.

Preface
For many years, life had presented me with more questions than answers.
What you get to read below has been written because people like you and I and all those we love or would have wished to love, deserve an answer.
Especially when it comes to being lovesick, feelings are turned upside down, the soul is confused and the affected person often feels utterly desperate. Many people feel helpless and clueless with regards to rela- tionship issues. In “karmic” relationships, life seems to go off the rails uncontrollably. In this guide you will find out why many consultants, seminars and therapists cannot help you. Above all, you will finally get a clear view of fundamental connections that have never been published before in this way. Practical ways to achieve change, heartfelt love and many aha-moments are al- so included here.
Even for me, life still holds many secrets. I would how- ever like take this opportunity to share with you all the things I have found out so far. Before we set out on our journey to unravel the secrets, I would like to as- sure you right now: beyond the suffering there is still hope.
Anyone who follows this path accelerates the healing process for all of us. The topic “relationship” can basi- cally only be understood if we are willing to consider the complex structures involved more precisely. I would like to give you the opportunity here to study a few of the key areas in more detail and hope that these basics can help you find targeted new ways to your personal freedom. More and more, you will be able to recognise, understand and change what per- haps still forms the mysterious framework of your sleepless nights.
This guide will show you how to see family-related, private and professional relationships and their karmic aspects with renewed clarity.
The aim of this book is to give you deep insights into entanglements that lead to unhappy relationships. Here, you will find out how un-happiness is character- ised by the un-imaginable. You will get an overview of possible structures in your personal life history, ena- bling you to access a new ability to act which allows for personal freedom and also a new ability to achieve happiness in romantic relationships.
This guide takes a serious look at the true roots of deep despair felt by people injured by love. This is not possible without going deep to the basis of reality and personal responsibility. As a reward for your courage, I will lead you from the depths of inner turmoil, confu- sion and mental injuries to a safe path of change in your personal story and into a new quality of life.
This may open a new space for a fulfilled, joyful love relationship, which also includes a worthy place for tenderness and a mindful, sensual and erotic encoun- ter in sexuality.
Now it’s up to you to decide whether you are ready to take the necessary steps!
—
If you want to understand and change relationships, you cannot avoid confronting the misfortune that also comes with them.
Difficulties in relationships are often experienced as a personal defeat for which you blame yourself, others or fate. Perhaps you are familiar with the feeling of having drawn a “blank” yet again or suddenly finding yourself on your own again, quite out of the blue. But what are the dynamics that affect relationships, when even happy dating can come to an abrupt end? How can we deal with the variety of questions concerning relationships and find good solutions? The guide “The Secret of Karmic Relationships” gives you clear and easily comprehensible answers to these and many other questions.
The complex connections in partnerships and other re- lationships have probably never been described in such a comprehensive, clear and concise way before. Here, a lot of mysteries will be solved that have al- ready given many people sleepless nights, in one lifetime or more.
As the author of this book, I would like to take this op- portunity to introduce myself. This will help you to understand why I feel that I am qualified to provide you with this guide.
I have been fascinated by relationships since my early youth, which is why – despite my technical vocational training and my own company in this field – I followed my desire to gain further qualifications in the area of life counselling. This led me to start a private advisory practice a few years later and by now I have acquired over twenty-five years of experience.
Information on basic and advanced training in this field is intended for your orientation only.
For me, it was obviously necessary to follow all these pathways on which we have perhaps even met before. For you, this may mainly provide an indication that this guide is based on ethical, personal experiences and has been developed over many years.
During this time, I discovered and documented certain patterns in relationships and researched the back- grounds of difficulties and “misfortunes” back to their origins. My own life also brought many therapy- resistant mysteries which needed to be solved. All this led to the creation of a practical handbook which con- tains lots of checklists, a step-by-step guide and proven advice. With a number of exercises in the prac- tical part you will receive a universal guide that will help you recognise, understand and change every- thing that has a burdening, stressful or unhappy effect on relationships.
This guide isn’t just for all those people who always wanted to know what a karmic relationship is, it also reveals secrets that are wholly unknown even to expe- rienced advisors, therapists and mediums!
Here, more questions will be answered than you have ever asked yourself about love, unhappy relationships, partnerships and sexuality. Among other things, the secrets of forbidden love, karmic love, karmic entan- glements and dual souls will be revealed. Whether it’s phenomena in relationships, physical symptoms or stubborn success blockages: many issues will appear in a completely new and clear light here.
Armed with this knowledge you will save yourself a for- tune on courses, consultants, seminars and therapies that cannot help you because their providers have no experience with the complex cause-and-effect correla- tions in relationships.
This practical guide will give you all the answers to your questions and problems you need in order to re- gain solid ground under your feet again, even in crisis situations. Perhaps you would like to find out what some of the first readers of the PDF edition thought of it.

Why “Karmic” relationships?

All relationships are mainly determined by two kinds of dynamics. Cause and effect. For millennia, the time- less view of these things has been described most aptly in Buddhist teachings as the cycle and law of KARMA. Since I am not aware of any scientific model which includes timeless responsibility for personal thoughts and actions in such a clear form, I deliberate- ly decided to use the conceptual reference to the principle of KARMA.
But there is another reason why I speak of “karmic” re- lationships. In its original form, the spiritual concept of KARMA clearly bases human existence on the validity and law of the “cause + effect” principle. Consequent- ly, KARMA arises from a law, not from some random and unpredictable stroke of fate or the whim of a puni- tive “God”.
The essence of this “spiritual” concept is the reference to the more scientific facts and the observation of cause and effect. Since many, even “spiritual” people, live in effects, without being able to establish a refer- ence to the true causes, for me the “spiritual” model of KARMA establishes helpful ties to modern scientific and therapeutic procedures.
Not least, the “karmic” in the title of this guide creates room in a unique way for one of the best known and nonetheless most mysterious phenomena since the dawn of mankind. You might have guessed it already. It is love.

—

Note:
In the sense of this guide, “karmic” refers to a cycle of cause and effect which again and again leads to seemingly unsolvable conflicts
at relationship level.

Many people do not understand their fate. They are of- ten considered incurable or branded as crazy if they tell their story to someone else. Many people get no real help from conventional medicine, scientific meth- ods or psychological counsellors. That’s why those affected tend to search for answers using “spiritual” and “esoteric” methods. I have had the same experi- ence, and this is how we can learn. What perhaps distinguishes me from others is the fact that I have studied and applied many methods without bias and put them under very critical scrutiny.
I know what clients are talking about when they speak of information which they received by channelling, holotropic breathwork, Fogo Sagrado, matrix work, au- ra surgery, all kinds of medial or shamanic sessions, astrological or numerological analysis, satsang, psy- cho kinesiology or regression. I know the limits and possibilities of many methods. Among other things, I am trained as a channel medium and a reiki master and have gained a lot of practical experience working as an esoteric life advisor and reincarnation therapist
for many years. I have worked as an avatar trainer and I am trained in NLP. Please do not worry if you have never heard about any of this before. It has not helped me sufficiently to answer the essential questions of my own life, but I would simply like to reassure you that the content of this book reflects the essence of many methods as well as my own personal experiences, be- fore you start to invest time and money in this guide.
I have always followed the feeling of open life ques- tions to the bottom. I have regarded all my training as a starting point and pre-education but never as the fi- nal wisdom.
I would like to ask you to approach the information provided in this guide in the same way. Why is that important for you at this point? I have always found it helpful to expand the intellectual framework if the an- swers to certain life questions remained elusive. Even quantum physics begins to discover chains of influ- ence that are still completely unknown to other scientific areas. It is important that we do not lose the connection to the present life and also establish it again and again in a therapeutic context. The question is always with what responsibility and purpose I use or explore a particular method. The seriousness and depth to which I dedicate myself to a particular subject is also important. That’s why I use the term “deep life counselling” as the concept for my practice.
Many users misuse regression as escape projections for example or for time travel (according to my instruc- tor). The therapeutically necessary connection to the present and the current life is often not made. That
way all the “bad” can remain in the past and leave the ideal world illusion untouched in this life. It is often dif- ficult to establish a reference. Even I could not always completely manage to establish a reference to some issues. The open questions were an incentive for me to do more research, not only to find answers but also to develop my therapeutic skills and options.
When I refer to information from regression in this guide, I thereby ask you to understand this as a sum- mary of therapeutic work that is neither completed nor provides a complete picture. I would merely like to use this to give you a brief insight into this methodology and my therapeutic roots. This way you might get an idea of how this book has developed and why I work as a trauma therapist today.
As a person and a therapist I am not afraid of you coming to me and telling me that you can see the souls of deceased people. I know what you are talking about and I will take you seriously. As a child this scared me pretty badly because I was harassed by “souls” searching for my help. Back then I did not know what to do. I had a connection to “something” that I did not understand, and help in such matters was unat- tainable in my childhood. This personal helplessness and perception of visible and invisible relationships to people’s souls led me to develop a curiosity which continues unabatedly to this day: the curiosity to rec- ognise relationships in which we live, to understand and to change them for the better.
There was a time when no doctor or scientist had any idea about viruses, much less that someone could
make them visible. There was a time when people were burnt for the fact that they could help in cases where doctors were at their wits’ end. Perhaps one day, Kirlian photography or another method will be de- veloped to the extent that the “souls” of deceased people or their energy bodies can reliably be made vis- ible. Maybe one day technologies and scientific explanations will surface that will give practical, useful help for everything that “light workers” have already been doing for decades.
For me personally, ways of thinking and acting which are limited to this one life are too simplistic. A “spiritu- al” concept that supports me mentally in breaking away from the widespread “après moi, le déluge” men- tality, seems to me to be much more helpful. However, please be aware that this is only a concept. The terms used in this book such as Karma, psyche, soul, spirit, past lives, psychological splitting and others are also only intended as models. On the following pages, I have used the terms / models / concepts which are commonly applied in the vernacular and society as well as in a scientific-therapeutic context, even if I per- sonally have my own issues with some of them. With this in mind, as the author, I would like to use some terms which you have probably heard or read already. Personally, I am not attached to any of these terms and would not like to see them made into a religion. Therefore, you can use one of your own definitions for the notions of “direction”, “quality” or “vibration” sug- gested by me.
Does the soul, the mind or the psyche love, or only the physical heart? Such discussions can be conducted elsewhere.
With or without love. According to the principles of cause and effect, every person creates timeless chains of events with their actions or inactions. How- ever, in the course of their history, human beings often lose track of the complex connections and implications of their actions. Above all, they lose access to the cor- rect actions to step out of undesirable chains of events in the “here and now”.
If you want to understand yourself in the mirror of your relationships and chains of events, it makes sense to rely upon a timeless view of things. In order to do this, you do not need to believe in previous or future lives. For some therapeutic colleagues, the spiritual context of my explanations might be a thorn in their sides. But to be honest, I did not write this guide for them, alt- hough I am certainly pleased about benevolent interest from these circles.
I like to pick people up from the point they’re at, and similar experiences in the so-called “spiritual” area are a helpful bridge for an honest encounter. The clarity I have gained from a multitude of such experiences un- derlines the credibility of my therapeutic invitation to gradually leave “spiritual” or other vanishing points.
The secret of karmic relationships has also emerged from my personal history and thus enabled me as the author to integrate my roots, experiences and refer- ences into this book and its title.
From what I know now, I was already born with “burn- out”. After that, the real difficulties began. Even now, while writing these lines, I still struggle to explain in terms of scientific criteria alone how I was able to survive this period. With all due respect for science and reputable therapeutic analysis – it was not available to me at the most difficult time of my life. And I doubt that it could have helped me even then.

—

Note:
Our existence beyond concepts leads us to what moves us deep down in our hearts as human beings. It is there that we often discover contra- dicting, hurt and frozen feelings which are part of the un-freedom we experience on a relationship level as well.

The secret of karmic relationships is a documentary about human entanglements and their causes. By in- corporating timeless, karmic principles, the view opens up to solutions which can lead into a new freedom and clarity beyond conventional perspectives, not only in terms of love relationships.
From my own life story and practical work as a life counsellor and trauma therapist a unique way has de- veloped to explore deeper connections. It has become clear that we can change impacts and life situations easier if we recognise, understand and comprehend broader connections in their entire dimension. Maybe the information and real-life examples provided on the following pages will help you to gain a more complete picture of your own life story.
This guide is not a substitute for psychiatric or medical treatment. The responsibility for use, implementation and application of any information and exercises pro- vided here rests solely with you. Terminology used in this book is only meant as a commonly known point of reference for certain qualities of experiences.
I would be delighted if something you found in this book helped you to create a nicer version of your life.

—

Note:
Karmic relationships are based on a hitherto unexplained pattern of cause and effect.
This pattern works timelessly and at relationship level is experienced
as “bad luck” or “imperfection”.

A professional background for you:

Brief Information on Regression

Corresponding to their age, everyone has problems that appear to be very difficult or intractable. When we reach a higher age bracket, we are usually able to recognise the challenges of previous years and often see a variety of solutions.
Unresolved conflicts and painful experiences are often suppressed during the phase of experience. Later they cannot be remembered consciously as the cause of disturbances which continue to burden us. Reincarnation therapy uses the knowledge that we are always wiser afterwards than we were before in order to clear up and dissolve repressed conflicts from the
past, from earlier ages and “previous lives”, by way of regression.
The term “past life” primarily serves as a model to en- able easy immersion into past structures. An important part of serious reincarnation therapy, as I have learned it at least, is the interpretation of the information thus obtained. The real purpose of this method is the tar- geted support of clients in order to learn and analyse the parallel experience in this life relating to that core information.
Reincarnation therapy does not require a belief in re- birth (reincarnation), even if that is included in this model. Being open to this process allows a playful ac- cess to important information that ordinarily remains closed to us.
Nowadays I use an even more effective method than reincarnation therapy. You will find out more about it in this guide.
The knowledge and information I would like to convey to you in this guide essentially consists of three parts. Each part is an important phase for the initiation and support of a process of change which only becomes possible through the deeper understanding and time- less view of chains of events.
In order to be able to change relationship situations permanently, it is helpful to be aware of these phases. The key to change is your willingness to go through these phases consciously.
Part I
– Recognise the pattern
Part II
– Understand the connections
Part III
– Break free from burdensome entanglements
Each chapter is like a step into a new level of con- sciousness.
At each level, this guide opens the opportunity to you to expand your views and experiences on a particular topic.
Even just the process of reading sets free certain im- pulses which you perhaps won’t transfer into consciousness as knowledge until you get to the next chapter or the chapter after that.
With each change of your perception you gain a deep- er understanding of yourself and others. Your picture becomes clearer and more comprehensive. With each openness to enter new levels in your consciousness you come closer to clearing up your relationships. With this in mind, I would like to invite you and ask you to follow the structure of the chapters without bias. If you
trust me and follow me, everything will suddenly ap- pear logical to you from a certain point in the book. In this moment of great meaningfulness and clarity you will have accepted the key to your personal freedom. If you feel it, then this book has served its purpose.
This guide is designed so that you can read it time and time again. With each “round”, you will discover new things and recognise other contexts. Maybe you will ask yourself at one point or another whether the infor- mation there had already been mentioned before.
“The Secret of Karmic Relationships” is a journey through human and emotional entanglements to new perspectives and possibilities in order to pass through gates to freedom. I hope you have fun rediscovering your life/lives in the mirror of these realisations.

Look deeper!

Part 1 The Secret Explosive of Each Relationship

Every relationship is a mixed unity with special dynamics, sometimes with a lot of dynamite.
In karmic relationships people frequently feel power- less and vulnerable – often a victim of circumstances. If you look deeper, you sometimes also recognise the victim on the other side. No matter what form you en- counter in this life, you should know and recognise the most basic forms and motivations in order to better understand the part of your own victimhood. Why is that important? Unresolved victim-perpetrator- structures from your past work like explosives in any new relationship.
Perhaps you are already standing on the “sunny side” of life. Even so, you can still learn a lot about other people and their deeper relationship problems in this first part. Let me start with three principles:
Principle I
Victims are often closer to the operating table than to awareness.
Principle II
As long as we are unwilling to recognise and admit that and where we actually were or are the victims, we stay entangled with the perpetrator and live in victim- perpetrator-structures that sabotage and destroy our happiness over and over again.
Principle III
As long as we are unwilling to recognise and admit that and where we actually were or are the perpetra- tors, we stay entangled with the victims and with what made us a perpetrator and keep on living in victim- perpetrator/perpetrator-victim structures that sabotage and destroy our happiness over and over again.
People who start to understand these structures also start to understand relationship dynamics and their origins.

„Voluntary” Sacrifice

There is one type of victim which is not always any- thing to do with guilt or feelings of guilt, even if another form of guilt is sometimes made up for this way.
We always encounter “voluntary” victims in situations and circumstances that challenge us and cast doubt on our existing views of life. They serve us and others by making us think about their sacrifice in order to ex- plore its sense, which is often seemingly missing. For example, children dying early help their parents to think about death, the meaning of life, birth, a possible life after death, reincarnation and everything that is to do with human existence. This way, the child’s soul gives the parents a chance to live a more conscious life.

Point of Reference:
Things that seem pointless to us are merely things the meaning of which we have not yet recognised.

Among the “voluntary” victims there are souls who pay off an old debt this way as well as those who take on this role out of pure compassion.
Without the acceptance of a “life after death” and re- birth, “voluntary” sacrifices can rarely be understood. If you do not personally believe in these things but come across them nevertheless, take this as a gift that also carries a challenge which you do not have to accept. However, if you are confronted with this subject again and again, I can only recommend that you open your- self to the issue and deal with it despite all your reservations. Above all, use this opportunity to allow yourself to expand, to change and to transform your previous experiences and your understanding of dif- ferent issues with new impressions and different insights.
“Voluntary“ victims consciously enter a situation in or- der to serve others. However, they do this WITHOUT any expectations.

Note:
If our heart opens itself in love and we feel that we can learn something from the sacrifice of another person, then we have most certainly recognised the gift of a “voluntary” victim. We feel gratitude, love, sympathy and inner strength. The “victim” follows their destiny and we ours.

“Involuntary” Sacrifice

There is a type of victim which we recognise specifical- ly by the “involuntary” sacrifices which the people around them make for them. That’s why I have named the second type of victim after this characteristic.
As a general rule, “involuntary” victims and “martyrs” unconsciously bring about situations for their own benefit. They then expect recognition, support and help from others.
Their “sacrifice” serves a personal purpose and is of- ten a pure, unconscious self-punishing mechanism. Here, above all, the “victim” itself has to learn.
If a victim forces us into actions which are primarily based on feelings of guilt, a sense of duty, obligation and compassion, it is often a sign that we serve the victims “involuntarily”. When this happens, the feel- ing of love soon falls by the wayside. The situation weakens us. Deep inside, we wait until it is “finally” over, forgotten, finished.
Out of ignorance, we accept the challenge that the supposed victim itself does not want to face. We thus often rob other people of the learning experience they should gain from their own fate.
For example, if you let yourself be controlled by a sick or disabled person, you deprive them of the opportuni- ty to grow up and take responsibility for their own life. At the same time, your belief that you are doing some- thing good unconsciously probably serves you as an excuse for not facing up to your own learning task in this regard. “There is no way I can do that” and similar thoughts reflect your need for action which you do not dare to follow out of ignorance of the deeper questions of the meaning of fate. The victims we serve “involun- tarily” refuse to take their destiny “into their own hands” in a creative way and to follow the challenges of life with self-responsibility and independence. The victims complain and ask for help from others. Anyone who gives them more than just help to help them- selves carries the responsibility for impeding the development of another human being! Do not always take on more of your partner’s burdens than you are happy to.

Point of Reference:

You recognise the “type of victim” not by their outward appearance, but especially by how the “victim” deals with their fate.
Those who see themselves as victims often have not yet recognised their own perpetrator structure.

Even if someone has a causal responsibility for the “victim” – for example, a woman addicted to pills has a disabled child etc. – this person is not entitled to im- pede the development of the victim. Everyone has the right and the duty to develop their own creative ways which lead to greatest possible independence and an autonomous life. That is precisely the central chal- lenge and learning task of each individual life.
Some people have consciously decided to take on bigger tasks. You therefore have to be very deliberate in your dealings with “victims”. A guideline – for how you might accompany and support “victims” – should always be the desire to help people to help them- selves.
You will meet the responsibility for personal “guilt” – regarding a victim – by carrying this “guilt” with dignity and avoiding false attempts to make amends.
 

Mixed Unit

In relationships we encounter other people in various victim-perpetrator and perpetrator-victim dynamics. When we get the chance to observe ourselves in a quiet moment and to question our actions honestly, we may become aware of situations where we had the feeling of not being quite ourselves. Our words or ac- tions turned us into “perpetrators” and afterwards we didn’t know how this could have happened. You might also have noticed a specific internal impulse to ex- press “offensive words” which you did not follow but which has bothered you considerably. Or in an ex- treme case, you might even have noticed an impulse “to pick up a knife and stab” and to this day you ask yourself where that came from. Such things often re- main our secret and our deepest distress because we do not know who we can talk to about it openly.

Point of Reference:
When it comes to impulses that try to push us in victim or perpetrator situations and do not fit with our own nature, structures taken from the family system often become apparent with which we are still entangled today.

Such unresolved symbiotic entanglements often lead to seemingly intractable conflicts and events in which we recognise ourselves as victims and perpetrators at the same time. Such influences regularly cause confu- sion, chaos and emotional distress in our relationships and partnerships. If such situations seem familiar to you, Part 5 in particular will give you more detailed in- formation about such dynamics and the backgrounds of psychological entanglements that can affect several generations. Fortunately, the responsibility to deal with such challenges lies solely in your hands and gives you the opportunity to change something. It will be my pleasure to support you in breaking free from such dy- namics and entanglements.

End -book extract Part 1
…read more

Part 2: Secret Knowledge
– About Wishes and Curses and the Biggest Mistake in History

The soul’s starting point (its origin) is crucial in determining what it can or should do in order to achieve its goals!
The degree of karmic freedom or binding respon- sibility (guilt) is the key to understanding your personal experience with wishes, curses and in- tercessions.
Every relationship is unique in its history but in my ex- perience, all karmic relationships have one thing in common: There are eternally binding energy structures which have their origin in powerful wishes, curses or other sometimes magical practices. People affected by this are often entangled in confusing feelings which they are not able to decipher by themselves. A specific example from my practice:
For a woman, a relationship with a married man was destined for failure from the very beginning. After the separation, she suffered for many years and con- cealed the fact that she’d had his child. Working through the karmic entanglement revealed that this man had destroyed the deeply loving relationship be- tween the woman and another man in a previous life using a love spell, in order to win the woman for him- self. Many lives with unhappy partnerships and confusing feelings followed, until in this life the woman started to decipher the origin of the karmic relationship
patterns by regression. That way she could finally un- derstand and resolve the unfortunate karmic fixation with a man who she had never really been in love with! And she also discovered her true, lost heart love again.
However, in order to fully clarify and understand such a relationship pattern, more steps are needed. The cli- ent’s inner, mental image may also reflect a symbiotic entanglement with her mother’s or grandmother’s ex- periences, feelings and relationship patterns.
End – book extract Part 2
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The ideal partner
recognizes
in the other person
a mirror
of themselves
and
does not break it
– 01/07/1996 –

The Ideal Partner – Mirror of the Subconscious

Insights from a spontaneous and unprepared expres- sion of desires with regards to your ideal partner (man/woman of your dreams) must be split into two columns:
• positive qualities, character features which he/she should have, must meet, and the additional listing of
• negative qualities, character features which he/she absolutely must not have.
On closer inspection you will usually notice clear paral- lels to the way we have experienced our parents in positive and negative ways.
Things that we have experienced as positive from our father, our mother and other close contacts in our childhood automatically become the measure for ex- pectations we have from our partners (present + future).
We seek a partner who represents a combination of all the positive qualities our parents had, but without any of the negative features we experienced from our fa- ther, mother or other close contacts in our early childhood.
Most people project these experience patterns on their partners without reflection. The reason why they usual- ly correspond to the exact opposite of all our expectations is that childhood experiences have been
repressed and left unprocessed. That is why we sub- consciously gravitate towards people who confront us with those suppressed issues as a mirror so often that we at last face up to them consciously (law of rhythm).
Each partner thus primarily serves as an aid in processing unresolved, suppressed experiences. They always represent the part in us that we have not realised in ourselves yet.
Also read more on this in Part 7: “A partner like my fa- ther – like my mother”
…

An Example of the Consequence of a Negative Experience
What does a woman, whose former partner did not come back after popping out to get some cigarettes, think when her new partner says to her in the evening, “I’m just going out to get some cigarettes”?
What is the new partner to do with her old experience? How often does the new partner actually have to “come back” before this basically neutral process of getting cigarettes does not trigger any emotional con- nections with the negative experience in the woman anymore? – Once, a hundred or a thousand times?
A rule about negative experiences:
A negative experience cannot simply be wiped out by experiencing the same situation with a positive experience if the reason for the negative experi- ence has not been understood. On the contrary, each identical, positive experience will in some form always be a reminder of the hitherto unre- solved negative experience.
…
End – book extract Part 3
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Part 4 The Secret of Karmic Relationships

Most p e o p l e
have nothing but demands,
and what´s more,
demands on other people.

© BeSuCa

Partnership and the Secrets of Karmic Relationships
The human being in the maelstrom of effects
Most humans live in a maelstrom of effects without recognising the true causes of the consequences they experience.
We always experience the principle of cause and effect as personal Karma.
When we meet other people, we experience a mixture of different levels which due to our ignorance often leads to misunderstandings and conflicts. Especially in closer contact with other people we encounter the cen- tral themes of life such as guilt, responsibility and love as well as their projections. When people meet, their various karmic structures mix, often leading to situa- tions (new, self-created Karma) which we cannot classify. That’s why we often carry conflicts with us which suddenly even seem to increase in a partner- ship with another person – for no apparent reason.

With the right people
many questions
do not arise
or
even more so than ever.

© BeSuCa
16/05/1999

In order to understand the topic of partnership, it is necessary to consider the basic principles and sense of the forces working in them.
In order to get closer to the meaning of partnership in the karmic sense, I would like to take a closer look at the components involved, one by one and independently of each other.
…

28 Distinguishing Factors of a Karmic Love Relationship

• Spontaneous encounter or slow mutual discovery in great familiarity.
• A very natural feeling in being together.
• Sensual and erotic encounter, but “to speak of love
  would be a lie”.
• Feel-good relationship, but the genuine love for each other is not free.

• Separations and still never being apart – Time does not heal any wounds.
• Strong harmony, but somehow it does not feel right to say: I love you!
• Speechlessness and inability to speak.
• Great sympathy, affection and deep love that
  seems to be inappropriate.
• Joint attempts to free this love fail just like the rela tionship itself.

• Emotional turmoil and helplessness in the encounter..
• Strong bond in deep pain even many years later.

…

• …read more

End -book extract Part 4

Part 5 Secret Key – Dreams – TRAUMA and Sexuality

Each karmic relationship is shaped by many traumatic events throughout which leave profound turmoil in the soul. Each experience of a traumatic event is accom- panied by a psychological split whereby the traumatised part has to be “left behind” in order to en- sure survival. Although the surviving part generally prevents us from remembering the bad things that we have experienced, for our protection, we nonetheless encounter this mental split in later life, in the mirror of our Self and in all forms of relationships.

At closer inspection, the experience of a partnership that we perceive or have perceived as imperfect or unhappy therefore often points to a previously experi- enced, still unprocessed trauma. The gulf created by each separation indicates a much older split within ourselves. …

Note:
The mercy of a trauma lies in forgetting. The salvation from our nightmares lies in remembering.
This process of remembering should be accompanied in a professional, attentive and loving way. The appreciation and inclusion of the survival part and its protective functions is also of great importance, with- out which life with the traumatic experience might often find an early end in madness or death. Therefore, if necessary, trust your confusion, conflicting emotions and painful body signals. Look at it as a healthy cry for help by the lost parts of your soul, which, as if buried in a tunnel, place all hope in you with unwavering faith. Your shining soul will only make all these things light up in your life until you courageously follow the signs and begin the rescue operation. I wish you good luck with that even now.
…
Ende book extract Part 5
…read more

Part 6 Counseling Under the Microscope

Why Most Courses, Seminars, Thera- pies and Techniques Cannot Help You to Improve Your Life

Among other things, you will learn here why many ad- visors, therapists and types of therapies cannot help you and why possibly – particularly always in your case – nothing works at all. With this knowledge you will save a lot of time, nerves and above all stacks of money from now on.

If the Journey
is the destination
it is no wonder
that life
falls by the wayside.

© BeSuCa
23/06/2010

IIf our happiness in love and life leaves much to be de- sired, it would seem reasonable that we should start to expand our knowledge. We gather new ideas and try to increase our success in life. We want to enjoy life before it is over. Lots of books, courses, seminars, therapies and techniques promise to help us. On my own journey through life I have tried out and got to know many of them.
Globally there are many wonderful instructors and seminar leaders who you can listen to with pleasure for days. There are so many creative training concepts and techniques which can really help you to feel somewhat better and sometimes even fantastic. But in my experience, this “kick” rarely has more value than a weekend with an interesting book, a fascinating movie or a rousing concert. You can save yourself a lot of time and money there! Why is that so?
End book extract 6
…read more

Part 7 Aids to Orientation and Exercises

A Partner Like My Father / My Mother

Who hasn’t heard about it or experienced it them- selves? Have you ever really understood it?
If you feel like you have married your mother / your fa- ther but this has not made you feel like you’re on “cloud nine”, you are encountering an unsolved conflict from your childhood in your partner.
If this is the case, it wasn’t your healthy adult part that chose the partner but a childhood part inside you that had to idealise the father / the mother in order to sur- vive and is still living in this fantasy world today.
Where the embryo, infant or child is directly or indirect- ly confronted with mental cruelty, violence and abuse, these experiences must be explained, split off and suppressed in the child’s world of innocent love. This is the only way to survive. At this stage the child cre- ates ideal fantasy worlds in which the parents are very different.
In the child’s struggle to survive against the hard reali- ty in an unbearable, life-threatening home, the “caregivers” are often converted to foster parents and the “real parents” to people who died early or were lost.
Because this concept of an ideal world works so well in terms of survival, many adults are mystified if they encounter a partner who drinks, is violent, controlling, dominating and jealous. The cruel reality of a sup- pressed childhood literally strikes especially women particularly hard. Unfortunately, this “strike” does not usually serve as a wake-up call. On the contrary. It re- activates the conditioned, childish survival mechanism to explain everything in love, to understand the perpe- trator and even to defend him to others. Here, friends who want to help are very often not appreciated be- cause they present a threat to the ideal world fantasy. In such cases you can really only be of help to some- one if you acknowledge the childish protection mechanism (which has to deny reality in order to sur- vive). If “this child” feels itself noticed, you have a chance to convey the bigger picture to the adult to show them the possibilities of a new freedom.
If this has given you goosebumps you also will under- stand why you will never be able to change your partner and will never come to a solution or a change directly through them.
People with problematic childhoods have to blank out and redefine parts of reality in order to survive. With this in mind it is no wonder if your siblings or friends later notice how similar the partner is to the father / mother – often also in their looks. As long as people still live in their ideal world repression they themselves are often blind to obvious connections.
In choosing a partner another aspect plays a crucial role.
……read more

First Aid for Separations in Karmic and Other Relationships

Part I: 23 Rules, Information and Guidance for Abandoned People

1. Do not take it personally – this is not about de- grading your person, on the contrary.
2. Rest assured that it prevented something even worse.
3. Realise that you are worth being protected in this way and thank the (divine) source which may be unknown to you for its help. Forget about the exter- nal circumstances. They only create the opportunity to rescue the other from the karmic relationship be- fore the “time bomb” explodes. The karmic pattern that both of you still carry with you is an “explosive” you now have to defuse calmly. This separation stopped the countdown.
4. If karma is placed into the stream of time and can be experienced by you as fate, you are prompted directly and personally to bring this event into a new divine order. The quickest way to achieve this is not to apportion blame. Activate your inquiring mind with the aim to detect and dissolve initial causes. Neutralise your part in the issue of “unhappy love”. Here, I can only recommend that you include experienced guides, trauma constella- tions and perhaps also regression in order to gain clarity, distance and an overview.
5. Any form of “love rituals”
   performed in order to re- voke the separation and to get the partner back is black magic and any “success” will, as a rule, be short-lived. Only the quality of manipulation, misuse and unhappiness in your relationship will become stronger this way and will have the effect of an addi- tionally burdening and eternally binding force. You thus only aggravate the situation further and attract new misfortune! Keep well away from this, even if it is difficult for you. If you have already performed such a ritual ask or had it performed on your behalf, ask the divine force to revoke it / make it invalid. Use “revocation of black magic” as a guide for this purpose.
6. ……read more

Part II: 17 Rules and Guidelines for Those Who Have Ended a Relationship

1. Continue to trust your impulse. It was right. But do not stay there as time alone never can heal these wounds.
2. I know that the consequences of your separation are one of the biggest challenges in your life to date. For a very long time, perhaps for many years, you will be able to rely solely on the part of mental clarity which has led you to the path of change to achieve perfect healing. A time in which you cannot rely on many of your feelings anymore because otherwise you would go back immediately.
3. Most likely you can compare this to a captain caught in his worst storm surge who steers his ship back on course again and again despite that un- easy feeling and under extreme tension in order to save what is sacred to him. Some forces hit us with such force that our life becomes a very narrow ridge where the only hope is just to keep running for- wards.
4. ……read more

…End – book extract Part 7